Sunday, January 30, 2005


Yesterday. It wasn't a good day. I was knocked off my bicycle by an irrational and dangerous woman in a car. She actually tried to knock me off, because I wasn't fast enough out of her way. Ok I shouted at her but she lost it and tried to kill me. and I veered off the road and got bruises. Could have been my head. I am lucky to be here really.

I remounted, shouted more, cursing furiously. Then I was shocked because she also nearly killed some poor chinese woman on the pedestrian crossing after nearly killing me. I had the presence of mind to take the number plate. Then I scarpered. She was scary. She actually waited at the lights in heavy traffic OUTSIDE HER CAR, scanning for me to catch up. London is not often like this, at least not around here.

I got a sore hip, so I didn't feel like doing much last night except drinking cold Heineken bottled beer and chilling. I went out to Sway Bar, Great Queen Street, Holborn, last night for a birthday party. The Punjabi Rocker's brother was 30. I stood chatting for a while, then sat uncomfortably on a low padded stool for a while, then after 45 minutes graduated to the corner seat, and let out a sigh of relief as I stretched out my left leg and eased the bruised joint. I got stuck in the corner surrounded by girls chatting which was a top result as far as I was concerned.

I found myself sitting next to S, still in her coat, not really digging the mechanical house vibe in the music but sociable nonetheless and the other side of her was my gorgeous girlfriend who I was also angling to end up next to at some future point.

S was cool, and I quickly discovered she came from my neck of the woods in South London. There'a a swathe of housing to the south of Crystal Palace Hill, and her family, aside from being scattered all along the east coast of the USA and Kingston, Jamaica, had grown up in pretty much the same area of me.

We are chatting like this when her bouncy attractive friend I returns and compliments me upon my fabulous orange and white striped jumper (see profile photo) and Deek says, thanks a lot, it's nice isn't it? D (Gorgeous Girlfriend) (indicates her all-ears presence) bought it for me. I flashes me a sideways look, looks at D, back across to S, back to me and says smartly, so, your not single then? if D bought it for you, you've got a girlfriend.... (pause) Hmmm well I'm not interested in you, then.. (smile) (general laughter). Clearly the woman has a nose for talent.

My lowered self-esteem was raised several notches by this, my gorgeous girlfriend smiled broadly, and of course I later organised a splendid threesome, from which many hours of pleasure I have only just recovered to write this post. Oh how we laughed. Can't wait for the DVD. I'll never wash those sheets again. Pass me the remote.

Did you hear about the new iPod Minging? It actually shuffles smells in your pocket.

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At 1:10 AM, Blogger transience quoth...

bicycles. they lead you to surprising experiences. trust me, i know.

At 1:40 AM, Blogger Laurie quoth...

I'm sorry you hurt your hip. I'm glad you had flaming hot sex with three beautiful women. (It must have been the orange jumpsuit.) I hope they were careful of your hip.

All that being said, something about the horrible crazed woman in the car running you off the road and standing there at the crosswalk waiting for you to appear as you cower behind a lamppost has put a grin on my face that I can't seem to erase. Sorry. :) (See, still smiling.)

At 2:46 AM, Blogger Blog ho quoth...

I think it's best not to bike. It gave Lance A. testicular cancer, and then attracted Sheryl Crowe to him on the rebound from Kid Rock, and who needs that? Or carry a gun while you bike so you can kill people. It kind of evens the playing field.


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