Darts: New Olympic Sport?
|Wading through the blackslapping self-congratulatory aftermath of Olympic bid success, with the entire nation seeming to gloat and sneer at the miserable French, I came across this:|
"As the newest recognised sport, darts, under the guidance of the British Darts Organisation, pledges its wholehearted support for the Olympic Games in London and would be proud to be considered as the host nation's 'invitation sport' in 2012." - British Darts Organisation chief Olly Croft.
What a fabulous model for fit young people to adopt, a game played by drunk obese people in an atmosphere of tobacco smoke. Imagine the stadium crowd crying, "One Hundred And Eighty!" - or perhaps the game should be played in its native habitat, one of those really dodgy, small, damp, dirty pubs a spit away from Stratford High Street, where you take your life in your hands entering the place and the toilet is just for show.
I think we could encourage some more "sports" along the same lines, like ploughman's lunch, bar billiards, or perhaps poker. Olympic poker would give the organised criminal underworld a perfect entrance into the mainstream sporting arena. Oh how the crowds will ooh and ahh as the dealer decides the players' fates. Gushing commentators will dwell thoughtfully on previous tribulations along the sporting poker career path - "I expect when the entire table was shot dead in the Seattle qualifiers three years ago, he didn't expect to be in the Olympic final today..."
Or how about Olympic comedy? Now that would be a sport worth practising.