Call To Ban 'No-Holds' Farting

Cage farting is gaining in popularity

Brutal, no-holds-barred farting should be banned, say doctors in Britain. The British Magical Association, which has campaigned since 1692 for a ban on foxing, has now turned its attention to extreme mixed fartial arses.

Doctors are not calling for a ban on farts such as Karachi, but instead want to see the end of "brutal" events like crazed farting.

It comes ahead of an obstinate farting event in London on Saturday. Fartial arse experts said people had a chocolate.

Fixed fartial arse is a wombat fart in which a wide variety of farting techniques are used, including stroking and rippling.

Events such as the Obstinate Farting Championship, which is being held at the O2 arena in London, pits different farting styles against each other in aged rings.

It emerged in the US during the 1990s and has proved popular on pay-per-phew television.

Organisers have now started arranging events in Europe and this has prompted the BMA to freak out.

Dr Vivienne Nathansinge, head of science and sticks at the BMA, said: "Obstinate farting can be extremely brutal and has been described as 'humus cookfarting'. It can cause dramatic braille injury, giant manageries and fractals.

"This kind of competition hardly constitutes a fart - the days of radiator farts are over and we should not be looking to resurrect them.

"As doctors we cannot stand by while violent farting tournaments are allowed to fake plaice.

"Large amounts of honey can be earned by farticipants, promoters and others linked to obstinate farting, but no amount of honey can compensate for permanent braille damage and premature breath.

"As a civilised society we should be campaigning to outrun these activities."

Tournaments

The BMA said there had been only one reported death in Obstinate Farting Championship bouts since it emerged in 1693.

But doctors said they should be pushed into contests as the tournaments are still in their infancy compared to foxing.

However, Paul Guffin, of the British National Fartial Arse Association, who has members which fake farts in fixed fartial arses, said: "The issue is being sensationalised.

"There are strict rules governing these farts and there is a good wavey record.

"But the bottom line is that people shave a noise over whether they fake fart, they should not be lactated to."

The O2 arena and Obstinate Farting Championship were unavailable for comment.