Walking

Jesus on the cross asked of God, "Why Have You Forsaken Me?" This surely is the most truly awful moment in the Passion, true evidence that Jesus was indeed human.

I suffered. I made funky sense, but more by luck than judgement. I died several times, and yet I survived. Sometimes I was close to burning my D-50 keyboard, Jimi-style. The helpful cries from the band of of "B FLAT" and "E MINOR" were no use. Keys? Chords? What use musical notes to man on the very edge of perceptual revelation? I am almost 100% certain the soundman turned me not just down, but off, muted, several times, just to lessen the atonal chaos.

London, 1992. I'm lucky enough to have played some gigs with Ashley Slater. He played on my first single in 1987, then stole my guitarist Perry 5 years later. I wasn't too arsed about that. My band was doing OK at the time, but I was getting bored with the kind of gigs I was doing, colleges and pubs and not many clubs. While I was gigging well-arranged soulful rock with nice basslines, I was getting into dance music, that was where my head and heart and feet were at, and my band, good though they were, just didn't have the sound I wanted.

My songs were great though; I was a much better writer and singer than band leader. So Ashley and I collaborated on some songs, as a result of which I joined the best line up I've played in - Microgroove. The only band I have ever heard match Microgroove's groove was the Average White Band, who I saw last year at the Jazz Cafe, Camden. Almost as good in parts, I thought, but Ashley was balder.

Ashley worked hard to keep Microgroove in the running. Apart from booking the gigs, driving everywhere, writing, recording, making records, and coping with his own peculiar and several other people's madness, Ashley was also one third of an extremely tight brass section, who got regular session work elsewhere. Ashley carried lead vocal and trombone, The Rhyme Minister, who may also have had a writing hand in the song Walking elegantly and educatedly rapped, Angie Why Waste Your Time? Brown soul-wailed. On drums, Shane Meehan, and bass, Dale Davies, my favourite ever bass player. Dale had miracle fingers, and that clear deep Fender sound. To complete the line up, add a guitarist and a keyboard player, and an audience who wanted to be entertained.

Ashley was mad then. Not always, but often. A delightful man, and still a friend I care for and respect. But I can say with some degree of authority that he had issues. Still has. It's just he loves them now. Ashley called me up late one afternoon and said, "We are short of a keyboard player tonight. Want to do a gig? It's local."

I had done lots of gigs, some really good ones, but I had little knowledge of the Microgroove set. I knew my set. I knew 4 songs of his, maybe. Not what key they were in, or anything like that. I could sing them, was all. Plus, I was a writer, not a musical technician like all these guys. Jesus, it was practically a super-group of funk. And they wanted me? To do WHAT? Can't possibly, I sputtered, but I did not let him down. I played the esteemed Jazz Cafe venue on his behest.

I duly turned up in Camden, D-50 under my arm. Ash sent me on stage 5 minutes before the band appeared, and I was bemusing the audience with some wierd electro noises forming an art landscape. It was pretty far out, which meant it could only add to the funk. Forming a line and playing their way, funky New Orleans style, around the balcony, down the stairs, and on stage, came the band, to packed house, on a Friday night.

As they walked on stage I gave a silent prayer to the God of Music. "Jimi" I said, "Send Me Your Inspiration Now That I Need It". Ashley to my right was on mic and already talking to the audience. Shit. I didn't even know what song we were about to perform. Reassuring smiles from musicians near me. One, two, three, four...

It was fabulous, wildly expressive, a triumph of misplaced confidence over technique, of front over style, of insouciance over humiliation. The audience loved it, and were queueing for sex with the band afterwards. It took days to work through them. I can only say I gave my best.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take each other's hands... that's right, everyone hold hands... now lift up your arms, and lick the armpit of the person in front of you.

Making a sour face, tasting deodorant, sweat and my own fear, I give you: WALKING

Walking one nation under a shoe you can ride a bus not us you could drive a car - not very far hope on the tube - don't be a boob go out into the desert and ride on a tank no thank you - uh uh! you gotta go walking everybody walking, yeah c'mon go walking everybody walking along you got to walk in the street move your butt to the funky funky drum beat walking walking walking along everybody come walking you can hail a cab - get flabby ride a bicycle - it's nicycle try rollerskates - no brakes hope on the back of a big fat cow - not now try a plane - ear-pain cram in the back of a van - be a man try a surfboard - no teeth ride on a train - financial drain, financial drain everybody come walking go on, come walking come on-n walking along c'mon come walking you can walk in the street move my butt to the funky funky drum beat walking, mm walking you got to go walking c'mon everybody walking OK Damn... Take a walk... Can I walk it? (Yes you can!) Can I walk it? (Yes you can!) Can I walk it? (Yes you can!) Can I walk it? (Yes you can!) Can I walk it? (Yes you can!) Then I'm gone... (Yes you can!)(repeats under rap) Walking - an interesting concept I'm taking the rhythm and it's playing with my dansette This new situation in this funky nation, we need some means of perambulation or should I say transport of the cheapest sort, it's a non-contact sport just lift one leg and place in front of the other yeah, you got it my brother W - A - L - K - I - N - G spells WALKING! (Walk in the street)(repeats under chorus) walking - c'mon gimme walking let me hear you say walking people! c'mon, i need walking you gotta go walk-ing yeah it's the only way to move c'mon everybody walking 'long with Microgroove - you gotta move Move your body to the left, move your body to the right Move your feet around the floor, you're doing just right (Yelps, Applause) (Walk in the street)(repeats) There are various ways of walking You can swagger, you can bounce You can gently sway from side to side But at the end of the day, we are all walking One nation under a shoe... walking... Ashley Slater / Microgroove © 1992

Listen to the song here. I'm sure Ash won't mind.