A Rat Recipe

Scientist have been stressing out rats again. The BBC reports that diet probably affects your health by changing DNA. As far we know, the happier you are, the healthier you are. Optimists live longer. Optimistic rats will now be saying, "Look, we are stressed out now because of these evil scientist guys - but further down the line, they'll all be dead from bird flu, we'll be eating all sorts of groovy shit, and WHOA what a party we'll have then!"

Nothing is said about the effect of eating stressed-out rats.

This research seems to indicate that what you eat can change your genetic capacity to deal with stress, which affects your resistance to disease, including cancer. I am always shocked that people do not realise the truth of the maxim, you are what you eat because it is so obviously true. See that fabulous creature looking back at you from the mirror? Not a visible cell is the same from a couple of months back. Everything you can see is made of countless slices of bread scoffed in the interim. Wipe that crumb off your lip, before it becomes your smile.

So, for a healthy disease-free life, eat well. But for a long life, eat little. This research tells us that the genes that regulate ageing can be affected by even short periods of going without. "Caloric restriction is the only intervention shown to extend lifespan in mammals" they say. Eat well, but fast from time to time, is the message, which is what a lot of religions also say we should do. I do already eat a good diet - maybe I can add to that by also NOT eating a good diet.

All this conjecture has made me hungry - it's breakfast time. I fancy rodent toast - it's easy to make, and very nutritious.