Listen: Shut The Fuck Up!
"I really hate it when..."
How many times have you said that recently? "I really hate it when... " I've been noticing that it's a thought-pattern that increases with stress. I really hate it when I get that stressed that I start sentences with those five words. I really hate it when I start to feel that it really isn't worth bothering to be positive, and I really hate it when people listen to me loudly, vigorously hating things - anyone would think I was an aggressive, neurotic, abusive, resentful person all the time, instead of just on the odd occasion when it really is necessary.
It's not just me, it's other people. I really hate it when I think I know what people are thinking and it isn't very nice stuff about me. I hate it even more when I am proved right, but know that they are still very, very wrong. Because, I'm a nice person! A really nice person! I'm the kind of person anyone would want to hang out with, generous, kind, affable, witty, inclusive... the long list of attributes precious beads on a string I hang around my neck like a noose of social kindness.I really, really hate it when people can't see past their own aggressive, neurotic, abusive, resentful traits and look bang smack at mine. I want to say to them: Listen: Shut the fuck up with your accusations that you haven't made but I know that you are thinking! Shut THE FUCK UP with your snide insinuations of superiority! Sometimes I walk away from these situations. Other times I sigh, and reply condescendingly, but even then the amount that escapes is miniscule, tiny. I really hate it when that happens.
I really hate it when I hear myself being nice, warm, and smooth to some eager capitalist, when what I'm really thinking is, what a wanker. I bet they pick their nose, I bet they cheat their expenses. I bet they cheat on their partner and lie to their friends and think that's big. I bet they masturbate and then (like 25% of the population) don't wash their hands and then they fucking shake mine and smile a big, cheesy smile. And I'm supposed to smile back at them and their teeth, and not think of the microscopic traces of their genital DNA which now attach to my palms. I really hate that I'm supposed not to shudder when I think of this. I really hate suppressing a shudder when a shudder will at least rescue me from the urge to vomit my breakfast all over their suit.
But most of all, I really hate it when all I can think about is my own petty responses when there are so many more serious things to think about like the end of life as we know it.
Labels: ecopocalypse, listen
posted by Deek Deekster @ 11:31 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I really hate it when ...... you're right. I'll remember to wash my hands from now on. That mental image just cracked me up!
Damn straight. But surely (you don't mind me calling you that..? sorry old joke :) there are more of the good guys 'n gals around you to outweigh the tossers you may come in contact with?
I try my damnedest to ignore the wastes of skin out there, coz they'll drag you down.
Hey Deek, you fupping know you're so much better than them and even better, theres loads of people who know that too.
But saying that, it's great to vent - I must do that soon.
All my best, Derek
Hi Deek - enjoyed reading this and the way you tied it all together with "I really hate it when ..." The BBC article on the rapid extinction of species and the percentage of those self pleasuring THEMSELVES nearly matching the rate of those animals, fish and plants that are disappearing ... well I am not sure what, if anything the close relationship of percentages mean ... just having one of those very uncomfortable moments ... laugh, cry, wear gloves or buy sanitation wipes ...
I've had times like this when even "wearing a bra over your clothes day" doesn't help. I try not to be evil, but I meet way more people who I'd consider wankers than ones I'd like to hang out with. If you figure out the dilemma of hate, let me know. I'd like to apply your formula.
It IS worth bothering to be positive. Positive energy must meet negative energy head on and defeat it. Otherwise it risks being defined by and becoming that which it hates without a regard for what it may have become in victory. -RF
maybe you can take some solace in the thought that being a self obsessed yuppie wanker doesn't bring them any real happiness either. Smugness is no substitute for inner peace. So maybe your anger can be channeled into pity, or a shared sense of sadness at what happens when our lives get sidetracked by other people's expectations of what will make us 'happy'...
Failing that, just throw hot coffee in their faces ;)
Hang on a sec...I'm still masturbating...
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